I'm opening up.

i'm opening up to you.

here are some things i dont usually tell anyone.
and its kind of hard for me to do this but it will help you understand me and my writing more importantly..



When me and Conner had our thing. he had a girlfriend. and he liked her just as much as me. but i wished it wasnt like that. to tell you the truth it was a terrible case of jealousy. i was only thirteen and allready bellieving i was inlove.


there was a song i gave to him by miley cyrus.

the 7 things i hate about u.
it totally explained him and EVERYTHING we had.
uhm here are the lyrics!

I probably shouldn't say this But at times I get so scared When I think about the previous Relationship we've shared It was awesome but we lost it It's not possible for me not to care Now we're standing in the rain But nothing's ever gonna change until you hear, my dear The 7 things I hate about you The 7 things I hate about you (oh you) You're vein, your games, you're insecure You love me, you like her You make me laugh, you make me cry I don't know which side to buy Your friends they're jerks When you act like them, just know it hurts I wanna be with the one I know And the 7th thing I hate the most that you do You make me love you It's awkward and it's silent As I wait for you to say What I need to hear now Your sincere apology And when you mean it, I'll believe it If you text it, I'll delete it Let's be clear Oh I'm not coming back You're taking 7 steps here The 7 things I hate about you You're vein, your games, you're insecure You love me, you like her You make me laugh, you make me cry I don't know which side to buy Your friends they're jerks When you act like them, just know it hurts I wanna be with the one I know And the 7th thing I hate the most that you do You make me love you And compared to all the great things That would take too long to write I probably should mention The 7 that I like The 7 things I like about you Your hair, your eyes, your old Levi's And when we kiss, I'm hypnotized You make me laugh, you make me cry But I guess that's both I'll have to buy Your hand in mine When we're intertwined everything's alright I want to be With the one I know And the 7 things I like the most that you do You make me love you You do (oh)





And some other things we all experience like loss.

>>uhm; when my uncle died.
i wanted to go to texas with my friend rather then mourn over his death.
isnt that so pathetic? we find ourselves forgetting about REAL life. and doing other things that are selfish other than what we should do and know what we should do in our hearts. i uhm dont see myself as PERFECT. but i try. i really try. sometimes too hard. sometimes my sins just slip out. but. hey nobodys perfect(=
but in the end i was forced to go to his funeral. an for once i felt him i felt real i felt good. .. i wished i would have made this decision on my own rather then being told to do it because now that has to travel with me for ever. i bawld too. when they showed his dead lifeless body. i cried. and my cousin thrust herself in my arms and i realized how bad it would have been for everybody if i hadnt have gone. and i know i would be broken..

but the thing is. in the end the friend i wanted to go t o texas with and me. werent friends anymore after 7th grade. it didnt even last. but my uncle... he'll always be my uncle.
and theres no getting around that.


i am just so happy right now. and those things are behind me.
but i just thought i would remind you guys of some of my mistakes and all because obviously i am not perfect and my life isnt as perfectas i realize i do make it sound and i have made mistakes and sometiems i do have a big mouth and things get out of hand if i end up opening it. because thats just life.
life is what you make of it.
So i am happy i am finally getting to make mine rock.



xoxoSarah
speak your peace