forever friend.

honestly,
there are no words left to say.

my story from since the last time i posted to now is a long and complicated one,
that you will need to know so you can still understand me,

let the lies take over you and ruin your life,
regret fills your insides,
death comes upon you,
& the next thing you know your wasted and half dead.

that wont ever happen to me again,

hurt as i am; i am the one hurting.

He who is hurting other people is probably hurting himself more than the others.

- unkown.

its so true.

every stab i have ever said to anybody. was because of my pain. my hurt my life my problems. not theirs.
who knew? i did. i knew it all along. it should've been obvious but i don't pay attention. not now not ever. things always get messed up around me. everytime things are going good something ticks in my brain and says lets screw this up. and i do. every single freaking time.
but thats just me.
mistakes mistakes mistakes.
but this time it wasn't a mistake.
it happened. and it was good.
it felt good.
but why am i feeling so bad?

MY LIFE IS A DREAMM(:

Soo i'm in cross country(:
and its kicking my butt.
but i am getting better!!

i got 96th place at the meet today:( out of 100! soo that was OKAY.

and on my first mile i got 92nd out of like 100?

yeahh.

SO me and conner are getting there again(:
forrreal this time.
haha



anywhoo checkk out my yellow pants(:

so yeah. sooo i havent written in a whilee. sorrry! haha.

so we have a football game tonightt.
and its the deer creek verses piedmont game.
i think were going to get smoked.
deer creek is WAYYYY better.
haha.

(:

we'll see.

peace outt girl scout.

WOAHHHHHHHH.

DAYS HAVE BEEN CRAZYYYYY;


things have been the same,, as usual.
but now i write to you readers as a fourteen year old(:


So, as clumsy as i am. as much bad luck i have.

i mean with the luck i have friday the thirteenth doesnt even phase me.

but anywhoo. with all of the tripping, and the weird awkward moments, and the dumb comments i make,and the guy troubles, and the bad just plain bad luck i have.

THIS has certainly never happened.


SOO its the day before my birthday.

FRIDAY. I wake up. my mom's gone, steve's gone.

a full day of babysitting the siblings; sydney and stevie.

Its going to be a good day. i'll get through this easy day then have a wonderful birthday tomorrow.. wait. i feel kinda,, queeezy. maybe its hunger,

SO i get something to eat, i text my momm. mom i really dnt feel good.

I went througgh the day feeling like this until steve finally got home and told me how horrible i looked. an hour later my sister was sick too. i was throwing up ALL NIGHT. and all day the next day, which was; of course. my birthday,


i got exactly what i wanted by the way.

wich was the book Breaking Dawn.

from my favorite book series, the twilight series,
so farr its gooood.

but i havent finished yett so who knows whats next?

haha.

but now i feeel a little better.
not nauseous
but not good.
still feverish.
stomach cramps.
body chills.


Flu? Virus?

anywhoooo.

Now my brothers sick and i feel so bad for not just making steve come home and watch him so i didnt get him sick


and sydney too.

poooor stevie only 3 years old.

Sorry i couldn't write more guys.

The stomach aches don't really merge with the Writing thing.

our image.

So fashion these days, just getting good to me(: i love the new vintage stuff they have going but its so out of season(: hahaha. but yeah. i have recently aquired teen vogue and each month everything seems to change except for the all around thing this year i guess its vintage. i dont understand what i am coming to as a 13 year old to rely on vogue for my i guess you could say wardrobe. i mean who has that kinnda money besides them? and why do we have to wear it.... we dont. lol. i realize that but i think that its in ad i wear it just to look cute and be in ya know? its weird how these things affect us. i mean lately my hair has to be super strait so i can keep up with how long it is. and personally i need a hair cut but i love my hair long just so much! lol. it took forever to get it this length tooooo. anywhoo i am just a big babbllerr today. but i was thinking why did i dye my hair? i mean now its growing out all funny and my parentals wnt even let me redye it and my natural hair color is like in i gues now. but i love the color also its like a dirtyish sandyish blonde. lol. well anyways keep reawding. love all speak your peace.


recent photography. it explains itself i guess. its what you make it to be. it wat you feel it to be.

brother dearest. happy birthday! my brothers birthday is tomorrow and he will be 3! haha speaking of my birthday is in 13 days! yay! hahaha,

photography i bet sets a huge image. on boredom or just creativity. i love this picure above because i used my mind i used something i wouldnt usually think of and if ni did i knew i would forget it waas one of those pictures where you grab the camera and take it because it looks cool or interesting. and i think this one. is just amazing(: but thats for you to judge.

who knows what our image says about us?
who knows what things are coming up in our life that are still left unplanned.
who knows what miracles we could get for ourselves. who knows what our next selfish decision will be? so many questions. so many answers. but if there are so many answers then why are there still so many questions left unanswered? and why do people judge us?. any picture any sentence any word any thought any look any text any message any comment anything! can be taken the wrong way. and why is that? why is trust so uncommon these days? and why this and why that and i could go on. and i realize i am just babbling but still i just cant help it but ask. why? all the time.










guess i'm out.
speak your peace.
XOXOsarah

I'm opening up.

i'm opening up to you.

here are some things i dont usually tell anyone.
and its kind of hard for me to do this but it will help you understand me and my writing more importantly..



When me and Conner had our thing. he had a girlfriend. and he liked her just as much as me. but i wished it wasnt like that. to tell you the truth it was a terrible case of jealousy. i was only thirteen and allready bellieving i was inlove.


there was a song i gave to him by miley cyrus.

the 7 things i hate about u.
it totally explained him and EVERYTHING we had.
uhm here are the lyrics!

I probably shouldn't say this But at times I get so scared When I think about the previous Relationship we've shared It was awesome but we lost it It's not possible for me not to care Now we're standing in the rain But nothing's ever gonna change until you hear, my dear The 7 things I hate about you The 7 things I hate about you (oh you) You're vein, your games, you're insecure You love me, you like her You make me laugh, you make me cry I don't know which side to buy Your friends they're jerks When you act like them, just know it hurts I wanna be with the one I know And the 7th thing I hate the most that you do You make me love you It's awkward and it's silent As I wait for you to say What I need to hear now Your sincere apology And when you mean it, I'll believe it If you text it, I'll delete it Let's be clear Oh I'm not coming back You're taking 7 steps here The 7 things I hate about you You're vein, your games, you're insecure You love me, you like her You make me laugh, you make me cry I don't know which side to buy Your friends they're jerks When you act like them, just know it hurts I wanna be with the one I know And the 7th thing I hate the most that you do You make me love you And compared to all the great things That would take too long to write I probably should mention The 7 that I like The 7 things I like about you Your hair, your eyes, your old Levi's And when we kiss, I'm hypnotized You make me laugh, you make me cry But I guess that's both I'll have to buy Your hand in mine When we're intertwined everything's alright I want to be With the one I know And the 7 things I like the most that you do You make me love you You do (oh)





And some other things we all experience like loss.

>>uhm; when my uncle died.
i wanted to go to texas with my friend rather then mourn over his death.
isnt that so pathetic? we find ourselves forgetting about REAL life. and doing other things that are selfish other than what we should do and know what we should do in our hearts. i uhm dont see myself as PERFECT. but i try. i really try. sometimes too hard. sometimes my sins just slip out. but. hey nobodys perfect(=
but in the end i was forced to go to his funeral. an for once i felt him i felt real i felt good. .. i wished i would have made this decision on my own rather then being told to do it because now that has to travel with me for ever. i bawld too. when they showed his dead lifeless body. i cried. and my cousin thrust herself in my arms and i realized how bad it would have been for everybody if i hadnt have gone. and i know i would be broken..

but the thing is. in the end the friend i wanted to go t o texas with and me. werent friends anymore after 7th grade. it didnt even last. but my uncle... he'll always be my uncle.
and theres no getting around that.


i am just so happy right now. and those things are behind me.
but i just thought i would remind you guys of some of my mistakes and all because obviously i am not perfect and my life isnt as perfectas i realize i do make it sound and i have made mistakes and sometiems i do have a big mouth and things get out of hand if i end up opening it. because thats just life.
life is what you make of it.
So i am happy i am finally getting to make mine rock.



xoxoSarah
speak your peace

Being in love is like Selling Your SOUL.

life with me

SO hers my face. things are going good. getting better. some ways worse. but what i realized is you have to dare to be different. DARE to be real. in these days everybody looks just the same. and dont get me wrong its okay FOR THEM. but i never was the following kind of girl. i never ever classify myself. i just TRY to stand out. and a lot of people made fun of me and blablabla but its just me, and sure i like to be the center of attention SOme times. but I dare to be myself. dare to be different. because thats how you feel something. something real.






thats my puppy. sent strait from heaven i believe.
the beautiful white cross that he was born with across his chest is reason to believe. these kind of miracles are wanderful. you dont have to believe if you dont want to. and i am not a preacher trying to force you to God.. but if you do believe. heres some more of his magic right there in a picture. right there! or when its raining the way the lights shine on the water beautifully. or when your out on the lake and you see the way the merky lake water shines. Magic.






LOVE
they say love is like selling your soul.
i believe that. you put your heart and soul into the one you love.
but sometimes you never get it back.





\\&&music//!!!
latest find.

<33
I'm in love with a girl I hate
She enjoys pointing out every bad thing about me
I'm in love with a critic and a skeptic, a traitor
I'd trade her in a second

She's a backseat driver
A drama provider
An instant update of the world
She's a first-class liar
A constant forgetter
She's attractive but bitter

Did you scream enough to make her cry?
Did you turn around?
Turn around
Baby, don't return to me
If you think that I'm not worth your time

She's a lady
And ladies shouldn't be messed with
She's a lady
And ladies shouldn't be messed with

Take off your shoes
Come in the room
And baby, let's try not to argue
Turn out the lights
Turn on the radio
How can we fight when I'm too busy loving you?
I'm too busy loving you
I'm too busy loving you

Did you scream enough to make her cry?
Did you turn around?
Turn around
Baby, don't return to me
If you think that I'm not worth your time

She's a lady
And ladies shouldn't be messed with
She's a lady
And ladies shouldn't be messed with

Here I am
There you go again, again
And we will not ever be 18 again
Again

And I'm worn out of fighting
And every night you leave crying
And I could use some time
Here I am
There you go again

So here I am, and I'm dying
And I'm waiting for you
Waiting for you
Come back, come back to me
And I'll take you gladly
And I'll take you anyway

Did you scream enough to make her cry?
Did you turn around?
Turn around
Baby, don't return to me
If you think that I'm not worth your time

She's a lady
And ladies shouldn't be messed with
She's a lady
And ladies shouldn't be messed with

.


not what we usually see in a love song(:

ha. okay. well i am out for now.

check out my other blog.
www.Youhavetohavesoul.blogspot.com


xoxoSarah.

Speak ur peace.